I had to post an update that would help explain why I’ve been away for a bit. I had a recent unfortunate episode that kept me away from my readers. What can I say? I’m someone who pushes themselves too hard. In many cases, it has gotten me out of some major problems. On my worst days, it turns me into a mess of emotions that can barely breathe. I don’t know where this incident began but I know it was during the daytime. I was in the middle of a long workday which probably wasn’t the best time to bother me. However, the person I won’t mention decided to skirt that unspoken rule.
I don’t know about you but when I’m working, I like to stay busy. The last thing I want to be bothered with is someone bringing up a matter that could be solved at another time. I suppose that time could not wait because I almost instantly found myself at the mercy of a lashing out that I didn’t ask for. Emotions were running high and a simple remark turned into an argument. I wish that things were done at that point but they weren’t. Let me preface this next part by saying that I had been using more caffeine than I should have been. I usually take anywhere between 200-400 mg of caffeine on an average day. The current cycle that I am on has me using a preworkout that adds another 200 mg of caffeine to my daily intake. Of course, I had remembered to not use caffeine with the stack except for this one fateful day. The same day that I was verbally assaulted which isn’t good to deal with when your anxiety is off the charts.
In my younger days, pushing me at the wrong time would have led to me turning into a wild man. As I’ve gotten a little older I’ve tried to keep my cool and have done well. All you younger guys that are quick to anger, learn how to manage it before it eats you alive. I’ve had anger issues and the only thing I got out of it was looking like a complete moron. In many cases, the people I loved most got the brunt of my anger, not cool. I wished I could say that I kept my cool while being talked down to but I didn’t. All of the sudden, I felt my breathing becoming more rapid. I knew that something was wrong and I needed to get breathe in my lungs fast. My nose started clogging up and my panic made me forget to breathe through my mouth. My wife had to shake me back into breathing. I don’t remember a lot of what happened. I know that, as I type this, I’m still feeling exhausted. All it takes is one simple mistake that led to a really bad day.
Overall, you should read this post and heed my warning, watch out for excessive caffeine intake. I was literally reduced to tears which I’m not proud to admit. I was sweating, gripping surfaces, and feeling intensely freaked out. I would say it was a mix of anxiety and nerves that I never want to experience again. Be sure that you watch the ingredients you take during the day so they don’t sneak up on you later in the night.